hues of brilliant colors...

not sure what You're doing, God.  but i don't want to miss it.  feeling the anticipation of something, but no idea what it is.  Lots of challenges...some that i really want nothing to do with, but don't have a choice.  some "challenges" are enticing...drawing me in...not sure why they matter, or what point they have, but somehow that makes them even more attractive.  got a vision today of something.  haven't seen anything in ages.  feel intoxicated by it.  how do all of these pieces fit together?  had come to the conclusion that all was lost, that i'd really just been out of my mind, that "this" was it, and at the same time nothing at all.  life was just dull, colorless, 2-dimensional.  suddenly seeing glimpses of color, hues of things to come.  but again, no idea what...  no expectations like before...  no clue...  guess i'm jumping on for the ride...looking for the ride of my life...