13 Years Ago..., Part 1

This week, I was thinking... I know, that usually isn't a good thing, but this time it was a good thing.  13 years ago today, my journey began.  For over half of my life up to this point, I had epilepsy.  It started on March 17, 1977, just before I turned 2.  I suffered from fibril seizures, which are caused by a change in temperature.  While anyone can have one if their fever drops or spikes too fast, I had them anytime I had a change in temperature.  While I don't really remember having them, I know that they were convulsions, sometimes very bad, and especially difficult for my parents to have to observe.  Thankfully, I did outgrow them and was off of the medication by the time I was in the 3rd grade.  For the next 5 years, I had lived a pretty normal life, but one day in the 8th grade, everything changed. 

During my Algebra 1 fall final, I had a seizure.  This time, though, it wasn't a fibril seizure, and it wasn't convulsive.  In fact, had my teacher not experienced it before, I may have not known what happened.  This began my partial-complex seizures.  I would feel a little weird, and then black out.  I wasn't sure how long I was blacked out, but everything seemed like one of the nightmares where you here all the sounds inside a tunnel, but can't see anything or understand it.  Turns out I was usually only out for 30-60 seconds, but when I would come back to my senses, I couldn't think straight, my speech didn't make sense, and I was absolutely exhausted.  After a seizure, I would have to go home and go to bed, and would sleep for several hours.  My memory was cloudy for a little while after as well.  The seizures usually happened in 3s.  So once one came, almost every time, 2 more would follow.  While they weren't as bad as convulsions, junior high students are not always understanding, and it was common to have people make fun of the seizure I had at school.  If that weren't enough, I realized that I had to change my career choice.  I wanted to go into the Air Force after school, and eventually work at NASA.  However, as I quickly learned as a junior in high school, all you have to do is mention the "e"-word and the military will drop their calls like a hot potato.  We figured out over time that they were usually stress/lack of sleep induced.  Seeing I was an honor/A student, this didn't help matters very much.  I had a lot of changes to adjust to.

One good thing that came of all of this "new life" was that I realized that I really did need NEW life.  While I had been dunked at 6 years old, I realized that I really didn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  At 14, I accepted him as my Savior and Lord.  I don't know how I would have gotten through the next 8 years without Him.  As time progressed, I learned how to cope with epilepsy without letting it completely rule my life.  Because they were stress induced, they tended to come near tests/projects.  After the first seizure, I struggled with taking math tests for a while.  I guess it was a coping mechanism.  I learned how to trust God with every situation; even a test.  For the next 4 years, I never had a seizure during a test again.  Maybe before, or right after, but never during.  Also, while I never had a "504" my teachers were very understanding and didn't treat me any differently.

Over time, it seemed to be harder and harder to control the seizures.  At one point  I was taking 1800 mg a day of medicine, and felt like a zombie.  I remember one morning when I accidentally took all 1800 mg before school, instead of only 900.  I couldn't see straight, and didn't even remember getting to my house before I crashed.  Unfortunately, due to the medicine levels and to the seizure disorder itself, I don't remember a lot of things from growing up.  Sometimes, I'll have a flashback on something, and it's like a gift to be able to remember good things!  But thankfully, that's almost always what they are...good things.  I consider it a gift from God that the epilepsy got rid of many of the bad things from my memories!

During this time, my family moved to Valdosta, GA.  I had to find a new neurologist, and he tried me on some new medicine.  It worked well, and actually didn't make me feel tired at all.  In fact, it had quite the opposite affect.  It was so nice to not feel drugged all the time, to be able to think straight.  My senior year was uneventful almost no seizures...in fact, none in the last 3 quarters.  For once, I had to think about learning to drive, and it made me nervous (not as nervous as my dad, who would always read!).   Just after I started my freshman year of college, I was able to get my driver's license.  Things were looking up.  I had decided to be an engineering major, had my education paid for, and got a car!  I also met Keith. 

*funny side note...i was notorious for saying "never"...you know, I'll never do this, I'll never do that...
I'll never live in GA...i can't stand the corn...(i ended up in GA with corn growing outside my bedroom window...!)  however the only never that paid off was when they told us at freshmen orientation: "You never know, you may meet the person you are going to marry in your first class."  My mom nudged me, and I said, "Yeah, right."  meaning...never!  However, I did!  While we dated for 5 1/2 years before getting married, it has been a blessing!  The best "never" ever! :)

It was so nice to be able to drive myself around for a change.  I had always felt like a bother to my family, because they always had to take me places, wait on me to finish, if I was sick they had to get me home, take me to the doctor a lot, and go through all the seizure mess.  It was nice to have a little independence as well.  I felt like I was beginning to have some normalcy in life again.  But on Christmas break, that all changed...

(cont. on part 2)