14,000 and counting….Or, Lessons Learned from a Life Well Travelled

I have been thinking a lot lately…I know…you're thinking, uh-oh…!  But this has been introspective.  We are at year 11 (11.21.02) since my daddy finished his time here in his temporary home.  That's about 4,000 days (minus a couple of weeks…math geek, you know!).  Over those days, I've had many times when I wished I had another day with him, or missed his sense of humor, or longed for his advice and experience.  I've had many more times when I look at what I got from him in about 10,000 days before.  Here are just a few of the lessons his life taught:

1.  You can't please all of the people all of the time, but you can definitely tick off all of the people at some point or another.  :)  Ok…that's a bit of Cranor humor.  But it's also a really important lesson.  I have always been one to not want to hurt some one's feelings or annoy them or get on their bad side.  Being a teacher, that's not always easy.  As I've grown up, I've realized that you can't always avoid that.  Some people are never happy.  Others are extra sensitive.  Sometimes, it's just that we have different opinions or philosophies.  Whatever the case may be, at some point or another, I am bound to upset, annoy or just plain aggravate someone.  The key is how to respond to that in grace and love.  Hopefully, I don't hurt feelings as much, but if you don't agree with me, that's ok.  You don't have to…

2.  God uses imperfect people for His perfect plan.  My dad was always critical of himself, as we all can be and I tend to be.  He was the first to admit that he had learned from many mistakes in his life.  And that he had a long way to go towards perfection.  But through his life, I realized that it was ok.  God is big enough, powerful enough, and wise enough to take someone, anyone, with all of their imperfections, and use them to do a great work for Himself and to the benefit of others.  Even now, I see remnants of what my daddy left behind, of the work he did for God's kingdom and the lives he touched.  All that is required is a heart that desires to be used by Him.  And a heart that has a vision to leave this world in a better state than it was when it came.  Which takes me to number 3…

3.  Dream big. I will admit.  I am a dreamer. An idealist.  That can often feel like a smack in the face when you wake up to face the "real world" on Tuesday morning.  (Yes, Tuesday…on Monday, I'm not with it enough to know better…!) Society is often not too keen on dreaming big.  They see life as a series of steps to make money, move up, have the right things. But sometimes that's not enough.  That's where the dream comes in.  Sometimes, the dream is what keeps you alive.  Sometimes, against all odds, that dream is what moves you forward when you should be down and out.  And whether or not that dream actually comes to fruition isn't what's important.  It's that you didn't settle with the "as is" and you looked ahead to the "what if."  I am still working on this lesson especially.  My "what iffer" has been working overtime to see what could be…

4.  Face your fears.  This is one I am still having to work at.  Sometimes, we don't realize our fears until the are staring us right in the face.  I learned from his example, though, that running away from them doesn't help anyone or anything.  Hard as it may be, you have to stare them right back in the face.  Maybe they won't go away immediately.  Or maybe not at all, but not flinching at them is a victory.

5.  Be True to Who You Are.  One of the biggest lessons I learned from him was that God knew who He created me to be.  My personality, interests, abilities, humor and even my weaknesses were no surprise.  And yet, He has a plan to use me in His big plan.  He didn't make a mistake.  He knew what I would face in my life experiences.  Many of the traits He equipped me with would be exactly the things needed to pull through, learn lessons, build bridges and even touch people.  Trying to be something I'm not makes it look as though I believed God "made a mistake."  And we both know better than that!  Warts and all, the Father knows best…!

6.  Life is hard. God is good.  Daddy did not have an ideal life growing up.  Life was not always kind.  Times were often very difficult.  Even when I was growing up, things did not always come easily.  But as I watched and learned, I saw that anything worth having is worth fighting for.  Even when times are difficult, people are hurtful, health is waining, life is hard…one thing still remains.  God is good.  In the midst of all of those times, God sustains us and even uses those instances to make us more like Himself; to reveal another facet of Himself to us.  And because of that…

7.  Never Quit Fighting.  Despite what seems to be staring you in the face, in spite of what your past may hold over you, regardless of your situation at the time, even when you can't see in front of you…don't quit.  While the fighting is fatiguing and you feel so weary, it is the fight that actually moves you on to what God has in store.  It's the silent strength that pushes you on to the point you thought was unreachable.  Just like Indiana Jones, it's having the faith to step off the cliff, even though you don't see the bridge.  In faith, move forward. "Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God's heavenly call in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13b-14)

And as a result, one day may I, too, say… "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7)

God-sized holes and God-side tasks...

As as family, we have the privilege of taking our 13 year old through Experiencing God. If you've been around the church for awhile,  you're likely familiar with this study.  In fact, you may have heard recently of it's author, Henry Blackaby, who had disappeared for a time and was found having had a heart attack.  Thankfully, he is with us still and God is able to continue to use him.

This study came out several years ago when I was in youth.   I started through it then, then went through the adult version a few years later, and have helped guide others through a study a few years back.  As a family ,we wanted to draw closer to God ,closer to one another and truly understand all that God had planned four our lives, both together and individually. Being a younger Christ follower, Brandon  could also benefit from understanding that God calls us and also prepares us for his work if we are willing to surrender to Him.

This past week, our study was on the Crisis of Belief.  This relates to the decision we must make when God presents to us a task that is too big for our own accomplishment and may be way out of our comfort zone and strengths. The true crisis is whether or not we will trust that God is all powerful and perfectly capable to work through us if we will just surrender to His call or if we will decide that it doesn't seem very logical and isn't an area that we are gifted in, so there must have been a misunderstanding.  Or God meant to call someone else.  Or we just don't want to give up what we are comfortable with to attempt what others may ridicule us for, or even worse, what we could even fail at.

In the study, Blackaby wrote this:

     Our world is not attracted to the Church we serve because they cannot see Him at work. They see us doing good things for God and say, "that is wonderful, but that is not my thing."  The world is passing us by because they do not want to get involved in what they see. They are not having an opportunity to see God. Let the world see God at work, and He will attract people to Himself. Let Christ be lifted up - not in words but in life.  Let them see the difference that a living Christ makes in a life, a family or a church; that will make a difference in how they respond. When the world sees things happening through God's people that cannot be explained except that God himself has done them, then the world will be drawn to the God they see.

He later states that "the reason much of the world is not being attracted to Christ and his church is that God's people lack the faith to attempt those things that only God can do."

This is the problem in our churches and in our lives as well. We no longer set God-sized tasks to be accomplished. We set reasonable goals that can be attained with a little sacrificial giving and a lot of hard work. We follow the trends established by those who have done countless studies to see what the next move will be, all of which is good, but we leave no room for God to show His power and glory in our lives. As a result, we never really understand the depth of God's greatness. In fact, "If you can see clearly how something can be accomplished, more than likely faith is not required."  Unfortunately, we aren't the only ones that suffer from it...

The rest of the world suffers from a God-sized hole. This whole is immense...so big, that while we pour more and more in to try and fill it, it is never full. Only one thing can fill that hole. The God we serve is big enough to fill it to over-flowing. While the road is indeed narrow and those who travel down it are few, we often cause a bottle-neck in the road by not allowing our God to show Himself through us. We limit His out-pouring through us. In fact, we often each have a God-sized hole of our own, simply because we haven't given Him full capacity of our lives.  Our major problem is our self-centeredness....

Imagine the difference this world would see if only we would attempt God-sized tasks for a godless world seeking to fill a God-sized hole.  In a world of do-it-yourself, quick fix gadgets, we need a little, or a lot, more faith in the power of a great God!

"Without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6

Surrender

It's been a while since I blogged...been a little crazy...been a lot distracted...been thinking...

If you grew up in a typical Southern Baptist Church, you are probably familiar with the song "I Surrender All."  If you listen, you can hear it echo in your mind...

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His Presence daily live

I Surrender All
I Surrender All
All to Thee, my Blessed Savior
I Surrender All

It is a very melodic, gently soothing song.  The words are comforting.  And it's something that any church goer would hope to do.

Anyone who knows me knows I've grown up in church.  In fact, I jokingly say that I was in church 9 months before I was born.  I've heard all of the stories.  I know most of the songs (though not a lot of the south Georgia gospel songs!).  I know every Sunday School answer.  And John 3:16.  I can even sing the books of the Bible.  One for the Old Testament and another for the New Testament.  I was a faithful tither even when I only made $1 a week.  I didn't miss church unless I was really sick.  (Except for one time...I tried to see if it would work, since I just didn't feel like it.  And my parents saw through it and I was stuck in bed for the whole day...!) 

Please don't get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with any of that.  In fact, most of it is important, and a fundamental part of my life today.  But what does all of that mean?  In the end, what does it accomplish?  Does it make the words of the song any clearer, any stronger?  As I think of my past, I think of another's.  One that I often identify with - Paul.

He had done everything by the book.  He had a perfect resume.  He was squeaky clean.  Or was he?  Like me, he grew up knowing all the right things.  Following all the proper protocol.  Seeking to please those over him.  Having every reason to be proud of his checklist.  And then he encountered Christ...

And once he did, his life was never the same.  He suffered hardship, persecution, had some type of physical ailment that, three times, he pleaded for the Lord to remove. God chose to leave a thorn in his "flesh".  Not to hurt him, but to remind him that in his weakness, He is strong.  Of all people, Paul had knowledge above knowledge.    

And yet he said in Romans 7,

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[d] a slave to the law of sin.

Even Paul had a choice to make each and every day... Suddenly, it seems that in the every day encounters of life, the simple song is not so simple anymore.  While the principle is clear, the will is often weak.  It is easy to say "I Surrender All," but in fact, it is more like I surrender some.  And some days, I surrender none.  What I should freely give, I sometimes give grudgingly, if at all.  So many times, I stumble, often fall, and even sometimes wallow in the mud.  I know that God's law is indeed a delight to the soul, but in my  stubbornness I choose to try my own way first, only to be reminded that only in His way do I have true freedom.

So again, like Paul, I have to make a choice...

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

So, once again, I cry "uncle"...

or maybe just "Father"...

Days of Remembrance

In the Old Testament, God instructed His people to observe specific days of remembrance.  These holidays, or "holy days", were intended to remind the people of the miracles God had performed and how He had delivered His people time after time.

Today is a Day of Remembrance in my life as well.  July 29, 1997.  It was the day that God showed Himself to me as Great Physician (Jehovah Rapha).  For many years, I had suffered from Epilepsy.  Through this time, God had graciously shown himself to me as Jehovah Shammah (The Lord is There) and Jehovah Tsur (The Lord is my Strength).  Time after time, he worked in ways that could only be credited to him.  He strengthened me when I felt I had nothing else to give.  He sustained me when I felt I couldn't go one step more.  He reminded me that when I am weak, He is strong.

Sixteen years ago, however, he showed me a new facet of His glory.  It was in my stay in MCG for my brain surgery. I had my final epileptic seizure.  It was at that point that my neurosurgeon felt he had what he needed to perform a successful surgery.  And he was correct; it was successful.  A textbook case.  To the point that on his stop by my room on the following Sunday, he said that he had never seen such a textbook case, and never seen such a quick recovery.  He couldn't explain it.  God was glorified, and recognized as Jehovah Rapha, as I shared with him that it was easily explainable...people all over the world had been praying for this surgery, and God had answered their prayers.  And his reply was, "You're right."

God is truly good.  While he didn't have to bring healing, he chose to, in order that he would be lifted up.  He has provided opportunity in the years following to continue to receive glory.  To help others in their journey.  To take them down a similar path.  He chose to leave a small, but ever present thorn in my "flesh" to constantly remind me of His healing, of my dependence on Him and of His power.

So today, I mark another year...5, 843 days...of this stage in my journey with Him.  While I am ever reminded of my life passage through the valley of epilepsy (1 Corinthians 12:7-10), I now claim another life passage: Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21).

I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever;

    with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known

    through all generations.

Psalm 89:1