Surrender

It's been a while since I blogged...been a little crazy...been a lot distracted...been thinking...

If you grew up in a typical Southern Baptist Church, you are probably familiar with the song "I Surrender All."  If you listen, you can hear it echo in your mind...

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His Presence daily live

I Surrender All
I Surrender All
All to Thee, my Blessed Savior
I Surrender All

It is a very melodic, gently soothing song.  The words are comforting.  And it's something that any church goer would hope to do.

Anyone who knows me knows I've grown up in church.  In fact, I jokingly say that I was in church 9 months before I was born.  I've heard all of the stories.  I know most of the songs (though not a lot of the south Georgia gospel songs!).  I know every Sunday School answer.  And John 3:16.  I can even sing the books of the Bible.  One for the Old Testament and another for the New Testament.  I was a faithful tither even when I only made $1 a week.  I didn't miss church unless I was really sick.  (Except for one time...I tried to see if it would work, since I just didn't feel like it.  And my parents saw through it and I was stuck in bed for the whole day...!) 

Please don't get me wrong.  There is nothing wrong with any of that.  In fact, most of it is important, and a fundamental part of my life today.  But what does all of that mean?  In the end, what does it accomplish?  Does it make the words of the song any clearer, any stronger?  As I think of my past, I think of another's.  One that I often identify with - Paul.

He had done everything by the book.  He had a perfect resume.  He was squeaky clean.  Or was he?  Like me, he grew up knowing all the right things.  Following all the proper protocol.  Seeking to please those over him.  Having every reason to be proud of his checklist.  And then he encountered Christ...

And once he did, his life was never the same.  He suffered hardship, persecution, had some type of physical ailment that, three times, he pleaded for the Lord to remove. God chose to leave a thorn in his "flesh".  Not to hurt him, but to remind him that in his weakness, He is strong.  Of all people, Paul had knowledge above knowledge.    

And yet he said in Romans 7,

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[d] a slave to the law of sin.

Even Paul had a choice to make each and every day... Suddenly, it seems that in the every day encounters of life, the simple song is not so simple anymore.  While the principle is clear, the will is often weak.  It is easy to say "I Surrender All," but in fact, it is more like I surrender some.  And some days, I surrender none.  What I should freely give, I sometimes give grudgingly, if at all.  So many times, I stumble, often fall, and even sometimes wallow in the mud.  I know that God's law is indeed a delight to the soul, but in my  stubbornness I choose to try my own way first, only to be reminded that only in His way do I have true freedom.

So again, like Paul, I have to make a choice...

¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

So, once again, I cry "uncle"...

or maybe just "Father"...