"When words leave off, music begins." ~Heinrich Heine
I should really be finishing up an answer key for my students' last review day tomorrow before their big End of Course Test on Wednesday. But today, my ADD seems to have won out! While most people associate ADD with the inability to focus (hence, the "Attention Deficit" part), what many don't realize is that on that same spectrum, there is the hyper-focus that comes with things that are very stimulating! Which is where I am tonight!! So, to be sure I can finish my answer key before 3 AM, here I am typing this blog...!
We spent the day Saturday on a trip to ATL with the percussion section from school. They are such a great group of kids! We have two amazing instructors, as well, which is not very common for a school the size of ours! This year, their instructor decided to try and get them into a Percussion Symposium. They were chosen to participate, and were able to hear several other high caliber groups play, be challenged by what they heard and saw, and experience the opportunity to perform in such a setting themselves! Needless to say, they were just a "bit" nervous!! They then had great feedback from highly qualified professionals to help them reach the next level.
As I sat and listened (and watched all day), I heard a lot of different music. If you know me well at all, you know I'm a little different when it comes to most things...! But one of those "quirks" comes with music... I LOVE music! I feel like when music is involved, all of the fear, intimidation, worry, all of the barriers, even language, is gone. There's something about music that nothing else can compare to. In fact, I have this quote next to my keyboard that pretty much sums it up for me:
"Music is the literature of the heart; it commences where speech ends."
And I really believe that's true. Growing up, I always took piano lessons. Playing the piano is like a release for me. Whatever is weighing on me disappears when my fingers hit the keys. My mom always said she could tell how hard my day was by how long/hard I played when I got home. Even as an adult, I am very introverted. While I have learned to cope in spite of iy, especially in a job that requires me to be "on" all day, I have to have time to unwind, recharge and collect my thoughts again. Music is one of the ways I can do that. It allows me to pull away from all of the distractions for a time and "breathe." Also, being an introvert, I often have trouble trying to communicate what is on my heart and mind. Putting adequate words to actually describe the vivid/passionate thoughts, dreams, experiences is often not easy. But something about music can wrap it all into one thought. It's almost like the music allows me to scream out all of my frustration, express my excitement, share my passion, release my hurt, and share my comfort. And I never have to utter a word. We don't have to speak the same language! Which leads me back to this weekend....
After dinner, we were given the privilege of hearing a college group and a VERY experienced professional percussionist play. After sitting and listening to music all day, I was a little fidgety (ADD, you know!). But it was then that I was reminded of the wonder of music!! As they started playing, I begin listening "past" the music. Sort of like those "Hidden Picture" posters that were big in the 90's... You know, you look past the picture and you see a whole other picture! You see what's "really" there! I didn't have a program to flip through, so I gave in to the "distraction" and begin seeing a story unfold. One song sounded very angsty! It made me flinch; it was almost "painful" to my ears. It seemed conflicting with my soul. Like that horrible tapping when someone fidgets, the smack when people eat, the constant jingle of change in the pocket, the constant tick-tick-tick of the clock in the middle of the night...! But finally, it finished, and I felt like I could breathe again, even though I didn't understand what I had heard. Interestingly enough, when I looked at Brandon's copy of the program today, I learned what it was about... "The thematic ideas...suggest a language and a dance that is completely foreign to the listener. As the music develops and builds, the listener is drawn deeper into the unknown mythical world of Lemuria." Pretty cool, if I do say so!
There was another that, as I listened, greatly resembled my crazy ADD mind! For me, it was comforting. It was adventurous, had quick twist and turns, ups and downs, a "fake" ending (like when I think I'm just about asleep!), and then just as it started, it was then just over... Much like my train of thought can be! While to some people, it seems to be a crazy whirlwind of sounds, to me, it followed a unique trail through many interesting places with lots of new discoveries and adventures! Just as how I hope to live my life!! When I read the composer's thoughts, it was credited to a piece that awoke the composer in him and set him on a journey. He referred to it as his "true north" and "guiding star".
And the same can be said of our connection to God. Often times, I feel like I just can't find the words to express my heart - not just to others, but even sometimes to Him. But there is always music, sometimes with words and sometimes without, that seem to be the channel that helps me to lay down the burden, the frustration or the praise at His feet. Music allows me to disconnect from all of the distraction for a time and to just rest in His Presence. It can draw people to Him. It can sometimes be what helps us to let down our guard enough to allow Him to touch our broken hearts or hurting souls. Sometimes, like the music on Saturday, it is troublesome, just like the struggles we face. Sometimes it is upbeat, like the joys we experience. Other times it is reflective, like being in His Presence and resting in His peace. And just as He speaks to us in many different ways, music has many different styles, to reach us in all of those deepest places in our soul. It pulls us out, opens our eyes, strips away the false impressions and leaves us bare before the only One who loves us in spite of everything. It leads us to our "True North."
He takes all of our accidentals and makes them intentional. He adds a descant to our seemingly out of place notes to make it beautiful. He brings beauty out of all of the "mistakes" we allow him to touch.
