This week, as Father's Day approached, I found myself thinking again about my daddy. Those of you that knew him, know he was a black sheep, marched to his own drum, wore make-up and a "dress" during his sermons, etc. While it's been almost 14 years since he finished his race, I find I miss him more as I think of things I wish I had known to ask 14 years ago, as I see his humor in my son, and his gumption as well. I learned so much from him, not just in what he said, but in how he lived. Much of it, I wouldn't learn from, or even realize, until I got older. So as we get celebrate Father's Day, I wanted to share of a few lessons I learned from my own that are helping me to become who I am...
#1 Love Deeply - Love isn't something that's passing. It isn't something that is easy. It isn't even something that you always "feel". But it is something that is worth your all. For those that you love, you would give anything for. You will do the difficult things to help them become all they can be. You will sacrifice so that they can grow. You will be vulnerable so that they can learn from you. You will always know that love is there, because it is stronger than any other, it is the tie that binds you together. It is that love that will take you through the most difficult, seemingly impossible, gut-wrenching situations. And though we all express love differently, those we love most will miss it the most when we are no more.
"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young."
#2 Be Yourself - Life is too short to spend trying to be anything else. The time you spend trying to conform will be time wasted, draining you of the life you have in you to give to others and to live the life God intended for you to live. Often times, it is easy to be swept into the current of the world around you, the status quo. But living life in that way is a struggle. While you may not have the approval of everyone around you, you can become who it is that God intends you to be. That is more fulfilling than the accolades of man.
"To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting." (E.E. Cummings)“
Which leads to...
#3 Never Stop Fighting - Anything thing worth having is worth fighting for. Never, never, never quit. No matter what stands in your way. No matter what others may say. No matter the threats, intimidations, accusations, fears, weaknesses, failures or struggles. God has a purpose for you, and when we do his work, we will have opposition. We are human, and we will make mistakes, but he is patient and wants to shape us to be more like Him, into the person He desires us to be.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts." (Winston Churchill)
#4 You are Unique - There is not another one like you. While many in our society today want to fit in, we are all different. It is freeing to be uniquely me! To have observed one who didn't march to the same drum as others, who had a unique way of teaching, of sharing, of equipping, of loving, of living. While many may not have understood him, many were challenged, changed and inspired by him. This has been one of the most personal for me. It's okay to be different, the world needs different...!
"Be who you were created to be and you will set the world on fire" (St. Catherine of Sienna)
#5 Others' Opinions Don't Matter - This is a difficult one...! I don't know if it was easy for him, but I saw so many times where decisions were made because it was what was best or what was right. While others may have thought differently, he would go with his insight and direction and make those tough decisions. To move forward, to make progress, to sand off the rough edges, to become all that we need to become... (This is one that I am still trying to learn!)
"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."(Friedrich Nietzsche)
#6 Dream Big and Dare to Fail - When God gives you a vision, no matter what, never doubt it. In our own weakness, he is strong. In our willingness, He can do mighty things! All because of an openness to His big picture and to a faith in what He is able to accomplish through our obedience and humility. Even up until his death, I saw this lived out...
"If your dreams don't scare you, they are not big enough."
And this is my own personal note for you...
#7 For those who still have your dad, never miss the opportunity to be real with them. Always tell them you love them. Never miss the opportunity to do something special with them. Don't leave anything unresolved. You never know when you will say your last goodbye. Thankfully, I realized this before my time was up! I knew that my own time with my dad was growing short, and by the grace of God, I didn't leave anything unspoken. I knew each time I said goodbye, it may be the last. Each hug may be the one I had to remember. And then one day, it was. It doesn't make me miss him less, but it is a blessing to know that what we had was real, raw and open. Life is too short to have regrets... So this Father's Day, be sure you let your dad know...!
