The Fairy Tale...

“The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible.” CharlesKingsley, Alice’s Father, Alice in Wonderland.


Ever feel like you have popped out of a fairy tale somewhere? I have never been one to be a princess. Never my dream…never felt like I really fit into that princess mentality. But I’ve always felt like I can relate to Alice. Especially on the latest release, as Alice is older and returns to Underland.

Alice seemed to have a special bond with her father, much like I did. It was as though we could communicate without ever saying a word. We thought alike. I think we dreamed alike. I wish I had been able to talk him more about it, but I didn’t know at the time. So here I am now, trying to understand it all.  I feel like as she said, "Nothing ever stopped him.  And I'm his daughter."  (but why do i feel like something is stopping me?)

Seems like she never sleeps well, much like me. In fact, she states it later in the movie. Alice dreams of strange places…for her, it’s “wonderland” or Underland, as she later learns. As she talks to her father about it:

“So you think I’ve gone rather mad?” “I’m afraid so. All mad, bonkers, off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret; all the best people are. It’s only a dream Alice. Nothing can harm you there, but if you get too frightened, you can always wake up.” I’ve heard that same thing from my Heavenly Father…nothing can hurt you…you’re struggle is not against flesh and blood…

As she grows up, she didn’t want to follow the normal expectations and paths that were set before her. She was viewed by others as rather “different.” It seemed as though no one really listened to her, they simply tried to give her typical, common sense advice. She was not a typical girl. She was unique in her own ways. For instance, she “saw” things others didn’t. Following them took her somewhere they would never believe.

She is sought after by the people of Underland, yet doesn’t remember any of it. When asked “Is she the right Alice?” the Blue Caterpillar replies, “Not hardly.” She is frustrated because “from the moment I fell down that rabbit hole, I’ve been told what I must do and who I must be. I’ve been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed into a teapot. I’ve been accused of being Alice and not being Alice, but this is my dream, and I’ll decide where it goes from here.” ”If you diverge from the path…” “I make the path.”

How much I feel that way in my own life. Even more so, when talking with the Mad Hatter, he says, “You’re not the same as you were before. You used to be much more…’muchier’. You’ve lost your muchness.” Alice replies, “My muchness?” And the Hatter says “In there (pointing to her heart). Something’s missing.”

So my question is, how have I lost my muchness? What’s missing? What happened? I had such a dream, such a vision, such passion to follow what I believed was God’s leading.” Yet, I feel so much like Alice, where most of the people around me think I’m a little out of my wits. Most don’t understand. I cling to the fact that the only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible. Yet, when I try to achieve it, I get that “NO” in my spirit to my intention. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to sit here and twiddle my thumbs, doing what appears to be nothing…just waiting on You to show up? I know that my situations in the past have contributed to the loss of my muchness. I’m not sure as to how those things happened, or why, or what I should have done differently. I long to have my muchness back. Yet I feel like I am taken further and further away from muchness and more and more to obscurity.

Alice sees the truth in others, often as I feel I can sense the truth in situations. While I know that this is a fairy tale, I see my life in it so much. Alice ends up standing up for the truth, for what is right, championing for the good and for the truth. Finding that her “lunacy” was not lunacy at all, but the only truth in the whole crazy world she lived in. A world where she struggled for what was proper vs. what was her purpose.

I am there. I can’t just do the “proper” thing anymore. I have to find that “rabbit” that I continue to see glimpses of, yet lose as I start to follow. I feel like I have been here before; like I knew what the purpose was, yet I can’t seem to find it now. It’s not there…why can’t I remember? How do I find my muchness? I know what makes my heart sing. How do I get there? How much longer do I have to be in this Underland?

I long to conquer that “jabberwocky” that has held me captive for far too long. Hasn’t it been long enough? Take me back to that place where I know I am in Your will, living from the center of who I was designed to be.  I long to hear..."At last..."