Failure is an option...

Sometimes, life is hard. Okay...lots of times, life is hard. The hardest times, however are those times when you have to learn those lessons. You know, the ones that you can't seem to learn the first, second or even third time? It seems the more you try to figure things out, the more of a mess you get yourself into... Then you realize that the lesson you needed to learn really wasn't a hard lesson. In fact, it's likely one that you had to learn back in elementary school. Or, like most students, you were supposed to have learned it in elementary school, but unfortunately the lesson didn't stick. So once again, here it is!

I have discovered a lesson that I have needed much remedial work on. It is that I am not perfect, will never be perfect and in trying to be perfect, I have only made myself even more imperfect.

It doesn't seem like a hard lesson. I always tell people that it's okay if you don't get everything right; what matters most is that you learned in the process. But so many times, I don't carry that out. Sometimes, it frustrates me that we live in such a civilized, well-educated place. Don't get me wrong...I am thankful for all of the opportunities and provisions that I have been given. However, I have seen in my life, and in the lives of people all around me, that as a result, we have to always keep striving for more and more, and if you don't reach 100%, it's not good enough. How many times have I told myself, "It's not good enough" or even worse, "I'm not good enough?" Where has it gotten me?

I am reminded of a passage that has always been near to my heart, but today, I see it in a little different light. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul writes:

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these
surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a
messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take
it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my
power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for
Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am
strong.

In our quest for perfection, we become independent of the one thing upon which our lives rest. The one thing that we cannot live without. The one thing that frees us from every chain that binds us. In our own independence, we "lose" the Grace of God. Now, don't misunderstand me. We don't really lose it, but on our own, we decide that it isn't enough, that we can make it on our own, that we have enough gumption on our own to get where we need to be; in effect we lose (or misplace) what was given to us when we were but children in Christ.

How much more I can identify with the prodigal son as I think about this... He was one who thought he could make it on his own, and didn't need Dad's help. He could pull it off, just give him the opportunity. And it seems like our world doesn't make it any easier. To admit that you have made a mistake is viewed as failure. Yet, in our inability to admit, we have failed even more. Some of the most revered people in our history failed miserably, yet in their failure, they were able to acheive true success. Moses failed as the Prince of Egypt, only to deliver the very people he ruled over from bondage. David failed in his marriage purity, committed murder and even lied, yet he was "a man after God's own heart." Peter denied Jesus three times, after saying he would never do such a thing, but would die for Christ; he became a rock that Christ could build His church on, spreading the gospel to many, and did in fact die on a cross for Christ's sake. Paul persecuted Christians for the "good of the church", but at His encounter with the Lord, he changed the world for Christ as well. And there are so many more...

Those are the people in whose steps I want to follow. I want to be a "little Christ". I want to be one that can change my world with the life that I live, and not have to worry about being perfect, or living up to some "standard", spoken or unspoken. Let's face it...I am completely human. Surprised? That means I am bound to make mistakes and, sometimes, screw up royally! I have to be okay with that, because it is during those times that I can look up to the Father, allow Him to help me up, dust off my knees, doctor my wounds, and help me to be stronger and more like who He wants me to be through the lesson(s) learned

So from now on...

My name is Stacey, and I'm a failure...

(but I am growing to be more like Him!)